maanantai, 29. syyskuu 2008

It's My Life.

Some people could argue that I have absolutely no life. Now, if someone were to make such an outrageous claim, I would of course demand that he or she take it back, because I do in fact have a life. Believe me, I would know. How I choose to spend it is an entirely different matter, though.

I was talking with a friend online a few days ago, and we were laughing about how if someone had told me on sophomore year that I'll be spending the Friday nights of my last year of official childhood couped up at home, my only companions being my laptop and a memory stick named Severus, I'd have told them to go to the school nurse. (And just for the record: Yes, my memory stick is actually named Severus. Make fun on him and die a vicious death. My laptop is named Seamus. They're my best friends.) Two years ago, I was spending three nights a week in a way that... Ugh, I'm ashamed to remember what I was like. Stupid, stupid girl who moved from a restrained, overprotective society to suddenly having almost full freedom and friends who could get her anything she could ever want to try. Sigh. I can honestly say that I haven't grown up more during the course of any five years of my life than these two last. I moved to Finland a self-concious barely-teenaged girl with no idea how to behave in what felt like a new country, and a bad case of sexual confusion.Well, I'm still more or less confused, but at least I'm proud to say that in all other aspects of my life, I've somehow managed to find myself. I don't need to pretend that I'm someting that I very clearly am not; I don't need to drink a bottle of liquer to tell someone how I feel. Among other things. Actually, I'm quite proud of the person I've turned out to be, faults and all. Even the - several - faults that I have make me who I am, and I'm not sure I'd want to trade that for anything. I've finally realized that it really is true that before you can love someone else, you have to love yourself; and if someone doesn't love me for who I am... They're just not worth it.

What made me start thinking of this? I realized that I can actually tell apart some of my favourite authors - fan fiction and "real" authors - just by the way they write. My favorite authors of "real" literature are probably J. K. Rowling, of course, in addition to Dan Brown, Roald Dahl, Henning Mankell, and Astrid Lindgren. Favorite fan fiction authors include Vorabiza, Emma Grant, Jordan Grant, Sarah Rees Brennan, Zsanya, and Picca. I strongly recommend all of these authors - both fan fic and published authors - to anyone who appreciates a good read.

I'm at home, sick. I guess I should take advantage of this by reading ahead in Swedish or Bio, but quite frankly, I just want to sleep and listen to Antti Tuisku. No-life? Perhaps, but I'm happy.

torstai, 25. syyskuu 2008

Under My Skin.

I've spent practically the entire day wondering whether I'm a completely, utterly, incredibly awful friend. I'm not, am I? This is perfectly normal, anyone would do the same thing, no matter how much they cared about the other person.

Damnit, life's hard.

Oh, and sneak peek at the über-long fic that I'm writing! For convenience's sake, I'm calling it Countdown for now, though I'm not sure if that's gonna be the final name. It might also turn out to be something completely different. Hide And Seek, maybe. But anyways, sneak peek of the fic coming up:

COUNTDOWN<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

by psyduck



Harry Potter


 HP/DM, several minor pairings.

Novel-length, drama, (slash) romance, humor, angst in later chapters.





This fic covers 1 + 200 days of a Post-War Hogwarts, with our favourite boys in Year 7. Written after The Order of the Phoenix and an unspecified Year 6.


On the verge of expulsion from Hogwarts, Harry and Draco have to find a way to tolerate each other, no matter what. Even if it means sharing quarters for the next 100 days.



Prologue + ? (a bitchload, probably over 50). This fic is divided to two parts; the first 100 days from Harry's perspective and the latter 100 from Draco's.




Hot boysex yo. If you're a homophobe, why don't you go play a nice little game of Hide And Go Screw Yourself. Oh, and also a bit OoC characters (but I guess that's unavoidable), violence, language, and BDSM.


Author's notes:
This idea actually came to me when I was sitting with Kevytmelankolia in the pier area of our hometown, eating from two enormous buckets of ice cream with plastic spoons. All of a sudden, I got a mental image of Harry and Draco sitting like that by the lake at Hogwarts, except that they'd both be sulking. The final touch came when I was talking about the Finnish Big Brother –show with some friends, and figured how hilarious it would be to stick Harry and Draco in one of those houses. The plot starts to unravel...

I hope that you enjoy this piece of writing, it's actually the only fic of which I've planned the entire plot beforehand. I know it's a bit of a cliché, but I think that every devout H/D-shipper needs to write at least one of these "By some mysterious force, Harry and Draco are forced to be together and live happily ever after" –fics. :P

torstai, 18. syyskuu 2008

I'm not an artist, I'm a f*cking work of art.

I love the arts. All forms of it. Music, visual arts, literature, dance; the whole lot. I always have, ever since I was a baby.

I've got the most hilarious picture ever stashed somewhere in my room, I wish I could find it. I'm really young, probably not even three years old since my younger brother's nowhere to be seen. I'm sitting by the living room table with this absolutely enormous set of headphones on, singing along to Creedence Clearwater Revival (or well, singing along as well as any two-year-old who doesn't know a word of English can) and drawing with a large, yellow crayon. I don't know why, but the picture makes me smile every time I see it.

There really wasn't any point in that story; I just wanted to share it.

Anyways, back to what I was thinking when I started writing this.
So I was talking on IM with my friend Minna. She showed me two of her latest sketches and asked what they communicate to me. I told her that I really can't say; art in the form of pictures and sculptures has never spoken to me as much as music, literature, or dance. (Oh, and by the way: Those of you who don't consider dancing an art? Well, consider again.) Dance and music are, at least to me, similiar in the way that while they both create more feeling than reason in my mind, it's still possible to analyze them to some extent. Though I hate using the word "analyze" on art; it always feels like I'm somehow violating it. Breaking down to pieces and poking on something that's supposed to be just there to be admired. Literature, however, has never created as much feeling in me as other forms of art. I mean, of course some pieces of literature do, but mostly literature affects my mind, my reason. It makes me thing, not feel. Art in the form of images, however, makes me purely feel. Whether it's Claude Monet's Water Lily Pond (which happens to be one of my favourite paintings of all time) or Pablo Picasso's Weeping Woman (which makes me want to gauge my eyes out with a fork), it creates some emotion in me; not stimulation for my brain. It's always been that way, and I actually like it.

My favourite artists are probably Van Gogh and Monet. I've always seen Van Gogh's work as a representation of human life (though I know it's not, mind you): It's really beautiful and amazing, but there's just something really odd about it, something's just akward there. The thing about Monet that I like is, as cliché as it may sound, the way he uses colours in his paintings. I've always had a thing for more "classical" art, such as the works of Monet, while more "modern" forms such as cubism and surrealism just really make me cringe. Take the works of Picasso, for example. I hate it. Every time I see a Picasso painting, it makes me feel uncomfortable, akward, and hyper-aware of myself. I don't know why; it's the same way with all more-or-less modern art.

Anyway, the point of this entry? None, I guess. Except for that art = love.

I'm skiving off Psychology class and eating banana chocolate ice cream.

maanantai, 8. syyskuu 2008

L is for the way you look at me.

Okay, so today has been a fairly emotional day. To say the least.

I woke up at 6:00 AM to work on my World Literature Essay 1, and skipped the four first hours of school to complete it. By the time I'm going to school at a bit past noon, I'm completely hysterical, panicking, you know the drill. So finally Finnish class comes along, I hand in the essay... And have a total breakdown and start crying. Slightly embarrassing, one could say. Well, at least it's over now; now I just have to worry about my Extended Essay ("To what extent does an unhealthy relationship with members of the immediate family contribute to violently criminal tendencies later on in life?") and some Biology lab reports.

Oh, funny thing happened today in the bus while I was on my way home. So I'm just sitting there, thinking about school, when Bon Jovi's Livin' On a Prayer starts playing in my iPod. I have to use every single ounce of self control that I have not to start laughing out loud, that's how funny the mental image I got was. So, you all know the lyrics to the song, right?

We've gotta hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
We'll give it a shot
Whoa, we're halfway there
Whoa, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear
Whoa, livin' on a prayer

Well, the image that I got in my head: Our class, 06IB, a moment before the Final Exams start, singing this á la Once More With Feeling (in case you're a n00b and don't know what that is: It's the musical episode from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 6). Quite hilarious.

Oh, and I totally dyed my hair today.

perjantai, 5. syyskuu 2008

IB - Internationally Bitch-slapped

So, instead of writing my World Literature Essay like I'm supposed to, I started pondering about the wonders of the IB Programme:

Physics teacher: Hey you guys do you want to hear a joke?
Class: Sure!
Physics teacher: I just marked your quizzes.

What we don't realize is, this is all just a huge scientific study to find out how much stress kids can be put under before they haul off and kill themselves. The idea is that they give students amounts of work that are impossible to achieve, and periodically add more and more work during times when key projects are due. I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of it. I quit.

We you're in IB the phrase "I got five hours of action last night" means something completely different.

ToK in a Nutshell
The Question: How do we know?
The Answer: We don't.

When asked to comment on the IB a student replied: "I'd commit suicide but I don't have the time."

During a break in the biology mock exam
IB Student 1: What's evolution?
IB Student 2: It's when we finish this exam and half of us drop dead so that only the people who are smart enough move on to the next mock.

IB - it's the best condom in the world.

IB is like an abusive husband. You know you should leave but you can't because you have a life together even if that life occasionally beats you, calls you names, and makes you feel like killing yourself.

The International Baccalaureate: The only educational program owned, run, and sponsered by Satan himself.

Student 1: Hey! I've got a brilliant EE topic!
Student 2: Ah-uhm...
Student 1: It will be: Oedipus, the original motherfucker...
Student 2: ...

"It's only 6 tests, how hard can it be to take 6 tests?"
- An IB student's little sister, age 9

Teacher: A catalyst is something that speeds up a chemical reaction, but it's not involved in the reaction itself.
Student: Um.. can you give us a real life example?
Teacher: Sure, I tell my son to clean up his room, he says no, I ask him nicely, he still says no, so then, I take out my belt and and ask him again, he runs up to clean it.
Student: O.o
Teacher: See, the belt it not never touched him, but it speeds up the reaction.

The number 45 never looked so high until now...

To be or not to be? That is the question. If you choose to be, don't choose IB.

The realization of actually being in IB hit me when I decided not to wear my seatbelt in the car becuase I would prefer to go to the hospital rather than go to school.

I'm so hot my enzymes denaturate.

I had a life full of joy, happiness, love, parties, friends, food, sleep
... and then I woke up and finished HL paper 2.

Question on an HL Bio Exam:

A tall, blue blorg mates with a short, white blorg and produces all tall, blue blorgs. This is a result of:
a) both parents having heterzygous traits;
b) both parents having homozygous traits;
c) magic.

Chem Teacher: Did you guys hear about the bear that fell in the water and dissolved?
Class: No...
Chem Teacher: They say he was polar!

IB Freshman: You know, I'm planning of getting 45 points.
IB Freshman: What's so funny?

"You shall not pass"
-Gandalf on IB

IB English Class
Teacher's advice to students: So when you're home alone practice your oral on your dog...
Students: That's what she said...

Now I understand why 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. See, it means a 7 on all IB subjects.

Student: ...but we already have three tests scheduled for the next two days...
Teacher (mockingly, sarcastically and evilly): So if you add the one I'm giving you that makes four... Right? Your math teacher will be so proud to hear you do all of these advanced calculations.
Student (in a somewhat whiny tone which is completely justified): haha... Very funny... I haven't spent time with my friends or family or girlfriend in almost a month.
Teacher: And you're surprised? Didn't you read the fine print when you agreed to be in IB? It says : "In IB there are no significant others, only significant figures!"

Student 1: What's 2 times 9 again?
Student 2: Wait a sec, let me just get my Texas..

Teacher: [Noticing that half the class isn't there] What's due tomorrow?
Class, in unison: Bio/chem IA.
Teacher: Oh. 'Kay. [continues with lesson]

Non-IB student: You're in IB?
IB Student: Yeah.
Non-IB Student: Do you ever have nervous breakdowns involving all-night study sessions ending in screaming Latin phrases and offering to sell your soul to Satan if he'll put you out of this misery?
IB Student: ...just the once.

Life is like a box of HL IB Chemistry. You never know what you're gonna get, but it'll probably suck.

Teacher: No, we won't be getting into our math groups today. Carter's talking out of turn.
Carter: Life is all about second chances.
Teacher: Not in IB it's not.

Student gets up to leave halfway through a lesson.
Teacher: Where are you going?
Student: Slowly insane.

IB Coordinator to upcoming IB Freshmen: So, the IB is a programme designed for the gifted and elite-minded...

All's fair in love and finals.

IB First Year: There's so much work, I'm barely eating!
IB Second Year: Pah, I gave up on food. My current survival is due to copious amounts of coffee and a f*ckload of cigarettes.

(Day that a math's portfolio was due)
IB Student 1: So, how many of hours of sleep did you get last night?
IB Student 2: I haven't slept in two weeks.

(After HL Math teacher arrived at class, late)
Student: Thank the Lord you're here, sir. We just couldn't function without you.
I'm serious, NOBODY outside the IB actually laughs at that. My brother looked at me like I lost my mind when I said this to him.

IB is like being ruled by facism:
Everyone talks about how much it has ruined their life but nobody actually does anything about it.

In IB Bio class:
"I wish I were Helicase so I could unzip you jeans!"

The secrets to passing your Math HL exam:
1) When in doubt, equate to zero and solve for x. If you're feeling adventurous, make it an inequality.
2) If a matrix is given, find the determinant, and continue with step 1

American Gov't Teacher: Now, I know we're in Paris and don't get American news, but you've got to keep updated on the election. Just check up on the CNN website or something each day.
Student 1: Oh my god... there's an election going on at home?
Student 2: Hmm interesting analysis, but you might need some sources for that. On another note, did you know the IBO made an update to the Syllabus for Mathematics SL? It's on page 34 in the syllabus, and page 235 in the Vade Mecum. Section D14 I believe.


Now I really should go write that essay. I've laughed enough to compensate for an entire year of IB.