I'm sorry, I really haven't had the energy to write lately. Been preoccupied with reading - not only fan fiction, mind, but also real books! Be impressed! (Let's not focus on the fact that the "real books" are Harry Potter 1-7. Let's also forget that I start drooling whenever Draco Malfoy steps in the picture, and am highly disappointed whenever he doesn't end up having sex, or at least making out with Harry. Result: Sanna bawling, drooling, and pissed off at the same time. Oh, life's little joys.) But hey, now I'm only spending, like, 4 hours of the day in FinFanFun. Impressed, eh?

This one person (for those of you who know me at all it's not that hard to figure out who) asked me something last night. She asked me that how the hell are she's supposed to stand life sober. I thought a while about my answer, and I've been thinking about it ever since. I replied to her:
"Well, I can stand life sober. Barely, but still, even though sometimes it hurts and you just feel like crying your eyes out and screaming. No way it's easy, but it's doable. Just remember that you have people who really love you and want to help you. Give me your hand, and don't be afraid of life."
I've been thinking, and I think that's true for everybody. I mean, everybody has somebody who'll lift them up, no matter how pretty or ugly, popular or loser, young or old they are. Everybody has somebody who loves them enough to help.
When I lived in Finland before the States, I was a loser. I could never deny it. But still, I had one or two friends who I knew I could trust, who could see beyond my rather unpleasant exterior.
In the States, I was... How to describe it... Queen Bitch. I had a shell on, I wouldn't let anybody see the real me. Nobody, with the exception of those four people that meant more than the world to me; those people who I know that would lift me up, no matter how far down I'd fallen. Claire, Virginia, Heather and Alice Emily: Thank you.
Now that we life in Finland again, I know I have poeple who'd help me if I let them. A friend of mine has been trying to get me to go to a psychologist for a long time, she's been trying to tell me that even though my life is pretty much a living hell at the moment, that I can be lifted up. I've been such a hypocrite, I can see that now. I've been telling my girlfriend for half a year to stop whining, to talk to someone, trying to get her to realize that people care for her and want to help her, no matter how huge her alcohol problem is. My problem isn't alcohol, but I just realized that I'm being just like her.
What I need to do now, is to apologize to that one friend, and my girlfriend, and to finally try and get the guts to go and talk to someone. It can't be that hard. Right?

Oh, and I also need to take a shower and get dressed; school started over 2 hours ago. Next up: David Hamer. Oh joy...